Dear Gyms (Fitness Centers, Health Clubs, et al):
You hate me. I know.
Why else would you charge me $15-20 per day just to use one of your ellipticals for exactly 68 minutes? Why would you force me to overtrain for my marathon* when all I really want is a cross-train love affair with one of your Precors?
Why would you suck the love and money out of me every time I come to your seemingly open doors, begging you to let me use an open machine? It's not as if there weren't 10 of them around me today. I noticed them. You are having trouble filling your machines, it's clear -- so why do you charge so much?
On that note, it doesn't even make economic sense for you to overcharge. You're missing a huge market here -- poor college kids! We don't have $15-20, but we do have $5. I would gladly pay you $5 every day I needed to cross-train. But no. You insist on charging me what is, essentially, 20 sodas, 2 CDs on iTunes, a new pair of running shorts, or a cute dress at Charlotte Russe ('cause they're cheap! they know how we college kids roll!).
But, let me note, your prohibitive prices make me vow not to come to your gym. I won't give you my money -- not even $5.
And doesn't that make you sad? Because it makes me sad. It makes me hit the bottle.
And by bottle, I mean the bottle of Ibuprofen on my desk. Because my legs hurt. And hurt = unhappy.
So, my dear California Family Fitness, my beloved 24 Hour Fitness, I'm breaking up with you in favor of...Well, I don't know. But I can be single. I don't need you. I'll use (wait for it) EXERCISE TAPES.
That's right. Exercise tapes and I have seen each other in the past, and I know you're super close with exercise tapes, so my relationship with them may hurt.
But too bad! If you liked it, then you shoulda put a discount on it.
Love bunnies,
Mandapants
*More on that later. I'm a tease, this I know.
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6 comments:
I'm sad your college doesn't have a gym, unless you're home on winter vacay and that's why you are in this predicament?
No worries, Stanford has a gym; I'm at home. My dad belongs to the local 24, but they charge me $20 despite my daughter-ness.
What's a little bit funny is Stanford's reputation for being super-expensive and 24 HF's for being affordable. Stanford's gym is $5 to non-members. Why can't we have a Stanford here?!
It occurs to me that I should hit up local colleges to work out now.
just pretend you go there? or possibly use a gym and show your student ID? i use my ID to get ALL KINDS of discounts
That was a very cute rant.
You're funny.. do you usually go to the Stanford gym? It is beautiful!! I was still going there until recently (my husband was a postdoc at Stanford so I got to go for free).
I guess you are at home without Stanford gym. So sad. :(
That's stupid. My gym has a student discount. $20 for the break. $90-$100 for summer vacation. Hey, what about the Y? Go to the Y! Surely they're cheaper.
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